Grace In Between

“We’ll literally practice our faith — we’ll practice saying thanks in the middle.

Faith thanks God in the middle of the mess. 

Faith thanks God in the middle of the night.

Faith thanks God in the middle of the story —

Because it believes in the relentless goodness of Him who will not stop writing till there’s good at the end of this story.”

Lisa Terkeurst’s words. Some of the first words I read upon entering the country after a couple weeks away. I saved them, because I loved them. Because I agree with them. Because normally, I think I have no problem saying ‘thanks’ in the middle.

But you and I both know, cancer changes everything.

It changed everything when it entered my Cathy’s lungs.

It changed everything when it entered her liver.

And this week, it changed everything when I returned to America, to find that it had entered her brain.

Every time I think we’ve regained our footing, Satan uses cancer to say, “Are you sure Jesus is good?” But Jesus — He uses it to say, “Do you trust Me in the middle?”

I think a year ago if He would have asked me that question, my answer would be no. Although I wouldn’t even have to answer, because He already knows the smallness of my faith when I am hurting. He already knows the immensity of my fear in middle of this story. But this is what He keeps promising me about the ending—

“Your present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet, they produce for you a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:17

So I know one thing for sure, He is the Creator of a good ending. And He was the Creator of a good beginning. So the only logical thought to follow those two is this; that even if I can’t see it from my tiny, momentary, earthly view, the middle must be good too. 

I believe that now. I believe that it is so good, even when it doesn’t look or feel good. Not because of the scary part of the story we’re in, but because of Who has already written it, and has promised the perfect ending.

What is your ‘middle’? From what place are you hurting, wondering, Why is everyone telling me Jesus is good? From what circumstances are you needing rescue?

I’ve decided this, that I don’t have to know how brain surgery will go on Thursday, or how every day will work after that. I don’t have to know that my best friends will continue asking how I am or that the present circumstances will get better. I don’t have to know anything else except for the ending. I just want to be the spoiler, the party-pooper, the person who skips to the last page of the book to see how it ends, and makes sure it’s a book they want to read.

You should, too. You’ll find that the Author really is good. This chapter is temporary.

This story is worth it.

A Song for the Suffering – ‘Though You Slay Me’ feat. John Piper