Grace In Between

Letters to the three people I cannot stop thinking about today.

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Dear mom who has lost a child,

You are doing so, so good. Pat yourself on the back. Sitting up and taking a deep breath and putting clothes on gets you a trophy today. You are an imperfect person who has shown perfect love to your children; the ones here, and the one(s) not here. Of all the people on this planet, when your children need a safe place, it is you. You give everything for them. You are love, and light, and courage, when they can’t find it anywhere else. You are a gift that cannot be fathomed. Your children are so lucky. I would do anything to change your circumstances, but the child(ren) who is not here had enough of your love for a thousand lifetimes. Never, ever doubt that. The child(ren) that is still here is so lucky to walk in your shadow of bravery every day. They are learning from you. Learning it is okay to hurt, okay to ask ‘why’, okay to not have it all together. They are learning courage. You are superwoman. Everyone around you sees that and believes that. You should too.

Dear child who has lost a mom,

To me, you are the hardest to find words for. Sometimes I hit the nail on the head, and sometimes I can’t get a single word in thats right. Try to have grace on me.

She is so, so, so proud of you. Not because you are about to become president, or end world hunger, or because you’ve got it all together and you’re becoming an inspirational speaker. She is proud of the little decisions you make throughout the day that show people what your momma was about. The old lady you helped in the parking lot, the person you paid for in the drive-through behind you, the sweet text you sent, the joke you cracked, the forgiveness you gave, the love you shared when it would have been easier to walk away. We are all proud of those things too. You allow us to see your moms heart, long after she has passed into glory. You give us such a gift in that.

Feel what comes today. Let yourself hurt, let yourself miss her, but let yourself celebrate, if it feels possible. You are a blessed soul to carry on the legacy she started.

Dear child and / or mother of a broken relationship,

I know from experience that one of the hardest losses to grieve is one of someone who is still alive. For whatever reason, whether it be divorce, difference in opinions, one too many disagreements, time, distance, or something else I cannot know of, today you are feeling the absence of a relationship that should have never faded. This is much easier to say than to do, but don’t let bitterness eat your joy away. Celebrate the ones who have loved you as if you were their own. Be grateful for the power of grace; your mother or child is still here and grace can still be given. Hearts can be restored. And if circumstances prevent even that, rest in this: your home is not here. It is somewhere much greater where your Father awaits you and tears don’t exist. No matter how often this broken relationship takes your breath away, that place is your safe place. That is your home base. No one here can give you anything to compare to that. You are here for a moment, but there for the rest of eternity. Restoration awaits. Glory awaits. Rest in that.

Whoever you are,  r e s t  i n  t h a t.